…that moment when you two smile, and understand, that something is going to happen. Something is definitely going to happen! Another date maybe, another adventure, another story… perhaps “one in a million”, or perhaps, just “one of those”.
“One of those” relationships where ending is a must, yet hard to reach. Broken marriages, broken relationships, broken hearts, broken families… and the broken line keeps getting blurred. Time passes and you remain confused. Confused as if you’re facing a mirror but you don’t recognize the face you see. And you ask yourself: “did I change, or the mirror got old?”
And this is how it always begins: the eyes meet, the hands shake, the shoulders greet… you break the silence… and you break the ice! The ice melts and pours on the floor, washing away all the dust that has piled up by the fear of being rejected, the fear of showing weakness, the fear of feeling dominated, the fear of falling in love… and the fear of being yourself! And you sink… in the very thin layer of the melted ice… so deeply as if in an ocean. You break the ice… until you finally break!
You break and you relish the beautifully painful weakness of yourself! You taste it, savour it, and you enjoy the sweet-bitter reality of being weak, and you think: “I’m too weak! Perhaps I’m too weak to be true”. How can pain be beautiful and bitter be sweet? The truth is, they’re not! But when you break, the truth becomes a lie, and you just believe it! When you break, you start believing in false promises. You believe in them so much, until they promise to never change. Yet, we remain, and keep trying…
Breaking the ice into pieces is merely the preface of the chapters to come. It’s only later, that you engage in the lingering process of gathering every piece, assembling them so cautiously, in an attempt to build an unbreakable iceberg. That long-lasting, long-term, eternal iceberg that all of us believe it’s strong, permanent, robust, and has a well established foundation base! We build it, until that structure, long thought to be an iceberg, suddenly turns into a volcano, and erupts!
Yet we remain, we hang on, we cling to the iceberg, and we never let go. We become constantly fed by the “illusion” of being free… only that this time, freedom thrives behind the bars. Perhaps we forgot, that those bars are self-imposed. Perhaps we forgot that we “chose” to quiet the birds. Can freedom be lived behind the bars? Yet we remain, we hang on, we cling to the iceberg, and we never let go… What makes us stay? What makes us hope that things will change? We feel the heat, yet we remain. The heat burns us, yet we remain.
Everything becomes about waiting for the night to come, to feed the iceberg with the moonlight. We waited for so many nights until we became too scared of the sunshine, for the heat can break the iceberg and dissolve it. Yet we remain, we hang on, we cling to the iceberg, and we never let go. We start swinging between the breakable and the unbreakable.
… until the brave breaks the iceberg.
It’s gone! It’s gone! But is it done? We are here again, standing between the breakable and the unbreakable waiting to break the silence… again. We are breakable, unbreakable, over and over again. We know that “Insanity [is] repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. We are all insane! However, and while we all willingly dive into unplanned, unforeseen repetitions, and do the same thing, over and over and over again expecting different results, every single time, the truth is… even if things are the same… we are never the same again.